Who needs a good laugh?

If you weren't a nurse you probably wouldn't know this, but sometimes doctors say the most inappropriate things during surgery when their patients are "asleep". I have witnessed this firsthand many times, but nothing tops this story. I found it on my Random Labor and Delivery Nurse link the other night (yes, 4 am) and laughed my ace off!

Way back in the day, when I was a mere volunteer in a city far, far a way there
was a 5 foot tall, 500 pound woman that the doctors referred to as "old half
ton" upstairs. Don't shoot the messenger.

Anyway, this lady was being kept in the hospital on bed rest for reason that I can only imagine now were complications that were somehow related to her being so large. One fine day, it comes time for her to deliver by C-section and due to my "awesome" connections, I had the pleasure of watching. After a long prep of taping this woman's fat folds up to the top of the table, to expose the proper area and hunting down stools for the doctors to stand on so that they could actually see what they were doing the surgery began. There were all sorts of people with their hands in there retracting skin in attempts to be helpful and and yet it was apparently
not enough because shortly after the start of the proceedure we all heard:

"Ouch! Oh shit!"

The doctor with the scaple still couldn't see well enough thorugh all the fat everywhere and he cut one of the other doctors helping. To everyone's horror, the next words out of his mouth were:

"Oh hell no! If this fat bitch has any diseases I swear I am going to kill someone."

Um doc, she only has a spinal, she's not unconscious.

The lesson: choose your doctor wisely.